I tell my writing students to write what they would like to come upon, so I have jotted down what I would like to come upon today, so that you will either write it, or direct me to someone who can express these themes much better than I.
Thank you for the prompt and inspiration, may I share my thoughts here?
When my son Davis was little, he had a meltdown because I wouldn’t let him play a video game.
We had to leave where we were, and he did not accept this as a reasonable limit set by a loving adult. His face turned red, his fists tightened, and he threw himself into the tragedy of disappointment like a tiny actor who believed the world should bend to his feelings—immediately—or it wasn’t the world at all.
I remember standing there with that specific parenting exhaustion: part embarrassment, part grief, part determination. Not because he was bad, but because he was human. And because learning to live inside boundaries—inside truth, inside the word no—is part of learning how to live among other people.
That memory returns now as we watch power try to escape the most basic boundary of all: accountability.
There is a dangerous irony in an administration labeling an unarmed citizen a “domestic terrorist” while using gaslighting and claims of immunity to evade the rule of law. Blocking state investigations is not public safety—it is coercion. It is the abusive logic of deny, distort, intimidate, demand compliance. It is rewriting reality and asking the rest of us to repeat it back like a pledge.
And what makes it worse is the costume cruelty wears.
It wraps itself in Christianity and the flag. It calls itself strength. It calls itself patriotism. But Christianity was never meant to be a weapon, and patriotism is not worshiping power. Patriotism is loving your country enough to demand decency from it. It is insisting that the law protects everyone—or it protects no one.
I keep thinking of Bavano’s speech about choices: we all get choices, and we do have consequences. That’s true in a family, and it’s true in a nation. Leaders choose whether they will govern with restraint or cruelty. Citizens choose whether they will look away or tell the truth. Institutions choose whether they will enforce the law or excuse the powerful.
And when the choice to be cruel and mean becomes prevalent—when contempt becomes policy and humiliation becomes entertainment—that should be met with actions, too.
Not violence. Not hysteria. Action that is disciplined and lawful: voting, organizing, donating, showing up, documenting, refusing to normalize abuse, refusing to repeat lies just because they’re loud.
Like a parent in the doorway, steady and clear, we can say: I know you’re angry. The answer is still no.
No one is above the law.
No one is beneath dignity.
And we are not too far gone to choose decency—if we choose it now.
Oh Betsy, I think this is the first entry of your own substack.
My daughter once pitched a fit in the aisle of CVS when I told her she could not get a toy. She screamed so loud and long while I waited for my prescription, I thought child services would arrive any moment. A kind older woman told me as I carried her out, (fists flailing, feet kicking) that I was doing a good job. Her grace to me in that moment moved me to tears—it meant so much at a time when I was despairing at all my failures at parenting.
Your note reminds me we can’t despair, we must be the adults.
Thank you for your beautiful words. We’re with you, through the meltdowns and yes, the answer is firmly NO to all the tantrums and injustices big and small.
Becoming a parent teaches more lessons we never knew needed, right? We’re not alone. We’re together, adults with kids, learning along the way. Thank you for sharing your commiseration❤️
Thank you. This was an important message. I left a message today on my senators answering machine. “This has to stop and he is murdering citizens for acting according to the constitution. It would only take 23 votes to stop him.”
It is 4:00 in the morning & your response to Anne’s prompt has not helped my insomnia but spoke truth to my spirit. I agree with another comment, this would be an inspiring first substack! Keep writing & at least commenting. Sweet dreams!
Just finished the Southern Lights Conference. Jemar Tisby Spoke. Go look at the history of the black church for what to do. American Black people have lived under authoritarian rule for 250 years. The Nazi took the rules against Jews from Jim Crow era American Jurisprudence. That is a fact. MAGA loves Trump because he hates who they hate.
I just watched most of Southern lights too and it made me feel realistically hopeful....we are in a repeating cycle of power and empire, we need to fight it ....and we don't know when....but things may get better after this fight...
I certainly don't have the words, but you are right that the actions in MN (and now Maine) are meant to intimidate and make people afraid to protest. They are trying to provoke violence so they can take the next step and declare martial law. They don't have to cancel the midterms, after all there are elections in Russia and Hungary and other authoritarian countries. But they are certainly planning to disrupt the election, intimidate voters into staying home and when the Dems flip a seat, they will go to court or hold up the swearing in of anyone who opposes them. Thank you for stessing that protesters must remain peaceful.
18 monks are walking to D.C. I visited with them in Siler City, NC last week. People cried, laughed, scratched their noses, coughed and yawned, as people do. We all left changed. look, it’s like this: you can’t defeat evil because it’s always there, like germs and viruses; but what you can do is make good stronger. Let us not forget what Saint Audre Lord said: you can’t dismantle the master’s house with his tools. We have to be more peaceful in every second. We have to get rid of the so-called culture that is drowning us, and killing our children. We have to throw our cell phones in the bottom drawer and open it only as often as we open a bottle of whiskey. We have to sit in silence and notice that we are breathing. we have to wake up every morning and write on a piece of paper “today is going to be my peaceful day.“ And we have to forgive our parents and our neighbors and our children. And we have to stop buying shit. Enough already! we need to remember how to darn socks and fix the stuff we already own, including our relationships.And we have to do all these things every single day until good, which is always with us too, is bigger than evil. I will try to write it, Ann.
Thank you, as always, Anne. Pained as I am over the madness at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, I am of your generation—I marched against war and for the ERA. Today my weapon of choice is my pen. Let my words move more of us to action. And God bless you for quoting George: May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
Hi, Anne. I can't write to any of these things, at least at the moment, but I've read some things recently and today that have helped. E. M. Forster's "What I Believe" published in 1939. Will Bunch's column in the Philadelphia Inquirer today -- it's about good vs. evil right now, and he references The Lord of the Rings. Rachel Solnit's post from today (Meditations in an Emergency). Sending you a hug, Beth
In People Of The Lie, author Dr. M. Scott Peck brilliantly probes into the essence of human evil. People who are evil attack others instead of facing their own failures. Peck demonstrates the havoc these people of the lie work in the lives of those around them. He presents, from vivid incidents encountered in his psychiatric practice, examples of evil in everyday life.This book is by turns disturbing, fascinating, and altogether impossible to put down as it offers a strikingly original approach to the age-old problem of human evil.
Yesterday I thought about Scott Peck and his writings. It's time to review his work. And take seriously this move to validate and empower evil. And there is not just one person behind it. The men who murdered in cold blood are infected with that same evil. Metaphorically, perhaps literally, it is now an epidemic of unchecked violence. When the leader of the country is not held accountable, he validates others to not being held accountable.
I remember from his first book “The Road Less Traveled” he began with ‘Life is difficult’ and did a later chapter on ‘Evil is Real.” He had a way with words and bringing truth home.
Thank you, Anne. You have always helped me hold onto hope and have strengthened my faith, my recovery, and now my writing. I don’t know how to write about these things in any fresh or inspiring way.
But I needed a reminder that hope is not a slender reed but a mighty tree with strong roots. The mutual love and courage I’ve read about and seen — in Minneapolis, Chicago, and elsewhere — hearten me. Folks are showing up for their vulnerable neighbors when they could easily just lock the doors and turn a blind eye. Here in Houston, Texas, I struggle to remember my agency, beyond voting and sending money. Witnessing others’ efforts at nonviolent resistance — especially mutual aid and ensuring the actions of the secret police are known worldwide — inspires me to keep trying to figure out how to do my little part. Thank you.
Your “practical operating instruction” of having kids make cards for families of ICE victims is beautiful and adults can do that, too. Along with videoing ICE agents’ violent crimes and organizing as the people in MN have done to deliver groceries to those afraid to leave home, use whistles to warn that ICE agents are nearby, etc.
And voting out elected officials (state as well as federal) who enable ICE and others to get away with kidnapping and murder, then blame and defame their victims.
With all due respect to one of the best writers on the planet, Americans have to stop writing and talking. I am Canadian, and we can't hold our breaths much longer. I suggest a general strike.
I just bought the Rohr book. And going to keep working to release my evil thoughts about the evil administration in painting, cooking for others and playing music.
I’m not the one to write these things specifically. I did write though about my visit to an immigrant detention center… and the ways I’m showing up today. Fighting the horror with toddler shoes and diapers
Thank you for sharing this first hand account and your heart to be that spark and generate warmth for others. This is a terrifying time AND I am encouraged by all the love that is still in the world. We are fighting the horrors here in Vermont with gift bag with warm clothes to migrants at our local farms. One little drop but they know we care. Go Grandmas!
thank you so much for reading. I am encouraged too as strange as that feels to type. I love that you are fighting with warm clothes. These actions make all the difference
Thank you for the prompt and inspiration, may I share my thoughts here?
When my son Davis was little, he had a meltdown because I wouldn’t let him play a video game.
We had to leave where we were, and he did not accept this as a reasonable limit set by a loving adult. His face turned red, his fists tightened, and he threw himself into the tragedy of disappointment like a tiny actor who believed the world should bend to his feelings—immediately—or it wasn’t the world at all.
I remember standing there with that specific parenting exhaustion: part embarrassment, part grief, part determination. Not because he was bad, but because he was human. And because learning to live inside boundaries—inside truth, inside the word no—is part of learning how to live among other people.
That memory returns now as we watch power try to escape the most basic boundary of all: accountability.
There is a dangerous irony in an administration labeling an unarmed citizen a “domestic terrorist” while using gaslighting and claims of immunity to evade the rule of law. Blocking state investigations is not public safety—it is coercion. It is the abusive logic of deny, distort, intimidate, demand compliance. It is rewriting reality and asking the rest of us to repeat it back like a pledge.
And what makes it worse is the costume cruelty wears.
It wraps itself in Christianity and the flag. It calls itself strength. It calls itself patriotism. But Christianity was never meant to be a weapon, and patriotism is not worshiping power. Patriotism is loving your country enough to demand decency from it. It is insisting that the law protects everyone—or it protects no one.
I keep thinking of Bavano’s speech about choices: we all get choices, and we do have consequences. That’s true in a family, and it’s true in a nation. Leaders choose whether they will govern with restraint or cruelty. Citizens choose whether they will look away or tell the truth. Institutions choose whether they will enforce the law or excuse the powerful.
And when the choice to be cruel and mean becomes prevalent—when contempt becomes policy and humiliation becomes entertainment—that should be met with actions, too.
Not violence. Not hysteria. Action that is disciplined and lawful: voting, organizing, donating, showing up, documenting, refusing to normalize abuse, refusing to repeat lies just because they’re loud.
Like a parent in the doorway, steady and clear, we can say: I know you’re angry. The answer is still no.
No one is above the law.
No one is beneath dignity.
And we are not too far gone to choose decency—if we choose it now.
Oh Betsy, I think this is the first entry of your own substack.
My daughter once pitched a fit in the aisle of CVS when I told her she could not get a toy. She screamed so loud and long while I waited for my prescription, I thought child services would arrive any moment. A kind older woman told me as I carried her out, (fists flailing, feet kicking) that I was doing a good job. Her grace to me in that moment moved me to tears—it meant so much at a time when I was despairing at all my failures at parenting.
Your note reminds me we can’t despair, we must be the adults.
Thank you for your beautiful words. We’re with you, through the meltdowns and yes, the answer is firmly NO to all the tantrums and injustices big and small.
Becoming a parent teaches more lessons we never knew needed, right? We’re not alone. We’re together, adults with kids, learning along the way. Thank you for sharing your commiseration❤️
Eloquent and so true!
Your Davis has a wise Mama. Thsnks.
🙏
Thank you. This was an important message. I left a message today on my senators answering machine. “This has to stop and he is murdering citizens for acting according to the constitution. It would only take 23 votes to stop him.”
Thank you and Amen. You are a gifted writer and this really hit home with me. Off to get busy showing up.
Beautifully said.
🙏
So beautifully written. Yes, let's all choose decency now! ❤️
These words are magnificent. Thank you for showing how personal lessons can prepare us for the universally hardest times of all.
So so good, thanks
It is 4:00 in the morning & your response to Anne’s prompt has not helped my insomnia but spoke truth to my spirit. I agree with another comment, this would be an inspiring first substack! Keep writing & at least commenting. Sweet dreams!
Thank you for this wonderful comment. ❤️
Just finished the Southern Lights Conference. Jemar Tisby Spoke. Go look at the history of the black church for what to do. American Black people have lived under authoritarian rule for 250 years. The Nazi took the rules against Jews from Jim Crow era American Jurisprudence. That is a fact. MAGA loves Trump because he hates who they hate.
Do what is right and loving
I just watched most of Southern lights too and it made me feel realistically hopeful....we are in a repeating cycle of power and empire, we need to fight it ....and we don't know when....but things may get better after this fight...
I certainly don't have the words, but you are right that the actions in MN (and now Maine) are meant to intimidate and make people afraid to protest. They are trying to provoke violence so they can take the next step and declare martial law. They don't have to cancel the midterms, after all there are elections in Russia and Hungary and other authoritarian countries. But they are certainly planning to disrupt the election, intimidate voters into staying home and when the Dems flip a seat, they will go to court or hold up the swearing in of anyone who opposes them. Thank you for stessing that protesters must remain peaceful.
18 monks are walking to D.C. I visited with them in Siler City, NC last week. People cried, laughed, scratched their noses, coughed and yawned, as people do. We all left changed. look, it’s like this: you can’t defeat evil because it’s always there, like germs and viruses; but what you can do is make good stronger. Let us not forget what Saint Audre Lord said: you can’t dismantle the master’s house with his tools. We have to be more peaceful in every second. We have to get rid of the so-called culture that is drowning us, and killing our children. We have to throw our cell phones in the bottom drawer and open it only as often as we open a bottle of whiskey. We have to sit in silence and notice that we are breathing. we have to wake up every morning and write on a piece of paper “today is going to be my peaceful day.“ And we have to forgive our parents and our neighbors and our children. And we have to stop buying shit. Enough already! we need to remember how to darn socks and fix the stuff we already own, including our relationships.And we have to do all these things every single day until good, which is always with us too, is bigger than evil. I will try to write it, Ann.
Yes, D.P.! My soul whispers much the same things. Except for the bottom drawer and the whiskey!
Thank you, as always, Anne. Pained as I am over the madness at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, I am of your generation—I marched against war and for the ERA. Today my weapon of choice is my pen. Let my words move more of us to action. And God bless you for quoting George: May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
Amen
Poet like…❤️
I am of the same generation. Bless you Anne for your words and wisdom.
Download 5 Calls App
Makes it so easy to contact Congress and senate who are being silent
Hi, Anne. I can't write to any of these things, at least at the moment, but I've read some things recently and today that have helped. E. M. Forster's "What I Believe" published in 1939. Will Bunch's column in the Philadelphia Inquirer today -- it's about good vs. evil right now, and he references The Lord of the Rings. Rachel Solnit's post from today (Meditations in an Emergency). Sending you a hug, Beth
In People Of The Lie, author Dr. M. Scott Peck brilliantly probes into the essence of human evil. People who are evil attack others instead of facing their own failures. Peck demonstrates the havoc these people of the lie work in the lives of those around them. He presents, from vivid incidents encountered in his psychiatric practice, examples of evil in everyday life.This book is by turns disturbing, fascinating, and altogether impossible to put down as it offers a strikingly original approach to the age-old problem of human evil.
Yesterday I thought about Scott Peck and his writings. It's time to review his work. And take seriously this move to validate and empower evil. And there is not just one person behind it. The men who murdered in cold blood are infected with that same evil. Metaphorically, perhaps literally, it is now an epidemic of unchecked violence. When the leader of the country is not held accountable, he validates others to not being held accountable.
I haven’t read that in a long time… thank you for remembering that. But I don’t remember what the bottom line was.😢
I remember from his first book “The Road Less Traveled” he began with ‘Life is difficult’ and did a later chapter on ‘Evil is Real.” He had a way with words and bringing truth home.
I will go reread that chapter
Thank you, Anne. You have always helped me hold onto hope and have strengthened my faith, my recovery, and now my writing. I don’t know how to write about these things in any fresh or inspiring way.
But I needed a reminder that hope is not a slender reed but a mighty tree with strong roots. The mutual love and courage I’ve read about and seen — in Minneapolis, Chicago, and elsewhere — hearten me. Folks are showing up for their vulnerable neighbors when they could easily just lock the doors and turn a blind eye. Here in Houston, Texas, I struggle to remember my agency, beyond voting and sending money. Witnessing others’ efforts at nonviolent resistance — especially mutual aid and ensuring the actions of the secret police are known worldwide — inspires me to keep trying to figure out how to do my little part. Thank you.
“hope is not a slender reed but a mighty tree with strong roots” 👍🏼
For anything theological, I tend to visit Nadia Bolz-Weber. Here's her latest post: https://open.substack.com/pub/thecorners/p/dear-nadia-i-am-struggling-with-the?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=41bhl. At the end she shares a great anecdote about why you don't mess with the Minnesota ELCA quilters! 😁
Thank you for the recommendation and you were right about the story of the quilters.🥹
This might be what you’re looking for:
“STATEMENT FROM MATT MOBERG, CHAPLAIN OF THE
MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES
IF YOU'RE A CHURCH POSTING
PRAYERS FOR PEACE AND UNITY TODAY
WHILE MY CITY BLEEDS IN THE STREET.
MISS ME WITH THAT SOFTNESS
YOU ONLY WEAR
WHEN IT COSTS YOU NOTHING.
DON'T DRESS AVOIDANCE UP AS HOLINESS.
DON'T CALL SILENCE "PEACEMAKING."
DON'T LIGHT A CANDLE AND THINK IT SUBSTITUTES FOR SHOWING UP.
TONIGHT AN ICE AGENT TOOK A PHOTO OF ME NEXT TO MY CAR,
LOOKED ME IN THE EYE AND TOLD ME,
"WE'LL BE SEEING YOU SOON."
NOT METAPHOR.
NOT HYPERBOLE.
A THREAT DRESSED UP IN A BADGE AND A PAYCHECK.
PEACE ISN'T WHAT YOU ASK FOR WHEN THE BOOT IS ALREADY ON SOMEONE'S NECK.
PEACE IS WHAT THE POWERFUL ASK FOR WHEN THEY DON'T WANT TO BE INTERRUPTED.
UNITY ISN'T NEUTRAL.
UNITY THAT REFUSES TO NAME VIOLENCE IS JUST LOYALTY TO THE ONES HOLDING THE WEAPONS.
STOP USING SCRIPTURE LIKE CHLOROFORM.
STOP CALLING YOUR FEAR "WISDOM." STOP PRETENDING JESUS WAS CRUCIFIED BECAUSE HE PREACHED GOOD VIBES AND PERSONAL GROWTH.
YOU DON'T GET TO QUOTE SCRIPTURE
LIKE A LULLABY,
WHILE INJUSTICE STAYS WIDE AWAKE.
YOU DON'T GET TO ASK GOD TO
"HEAL THE LAND"
IF YOU WON'T EVEN LOOK AT THE WOUND.
THERE IS A KIND OF PEACE THAT ONLY EXISTS
BECAUSE IT REFUSES TO TELL THE TRUTH.
THAT PEACE IS A LIE. AND LIES DON'T GROW ANYTHING WORTH SAVING.
THE SCRIPTURES YOU LOVE WEREN'T WRITTEN TO KEEP THINGS CALM.
THEY WERE WRITTEN TO SET THINGS RIGHT.
AND SOMETIMES THE MOST FAITHFUL THING YOU CAN DO IS STOP PRAYING AROUND THE PAIN AND START STANDING INSIDE IT.
IF THAT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE-GOOD.
GROWTH ALWAYS IS.
Your “practical operating instruction” of having kids make cards for families of ICE victims is beautiful and adults can do that, too. Along with videoing ICE agents’ violent crimes and organizing as the people in MN have done to deliver groceries to those afraid to leave home, use whistles to warn that ICE agents are nearby, etc.
And voting out elected officials (state as well as federal) who enable ICE and others to get away with kidnapping and murder, then blame and defame their victims.
With all due respect to one of the best writers on the planet, Americans have to stop writing and talking. I am Canadian, and we can't hold our breaths much longer. I suggest a general strike.
I just bought the Rohr book. And going to keep working to release my evil thoughts about the evil administration in painting, cooking for others and playing music.
I’m not the one to write these things specifically. I did write though about my visit to an immigrant detention center… and the ways I’m showing up today. Fighting the horror with toddler shoes and diapers
https://open.substack.com/pub/laurengambillmd/p/its-cold-outside?r=1fk4t&utm_medium=ios&shareImageVariant=overlay
Thank you for sharing this first hand account and your heart to be that spark and generate warmth for others. This is a terrifying time AND I am encouraged by all the love that is still in the world. We are fighting the horrors here in Vermont with gift bag with warm clothes to migrants at our local farms. One little drop but they know we care. Go Grandmas!
thank you so much for reading. I am encouraged too as strange as that feels to type. I love that you are fighting with warm clothes. These actions make all the difference
I've been telling others about what you said about our little sparks warming others. Keep writing.
Read Anne Lamont’s writings slowly and with prayer